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Better to marry than to burn with passion – 1 Cor 7:9

Recently wrote a short essay for my brother who was curious as to why Christians have an urgency to marry.  This arose after a discussion within my family where I asserted that Christians should either seek a marital spouse or stay celibate.  Contemporary views of dating without an urgency to marry is not one of the options provided in Scripture, explicitly or implicitly (yes, this also means that prolonged discussions about marriage whilst in the midst of exclusive dating relationships and prolonged engagements are excuses Christians make for not committing to the urgency of marital union or complete celibacy!)

Read for yourselves my exposition of 1 Corinthians 7 (“The Beautiful Gifts”)!  It is meant to be a preface to the Ephesians 5 essay (“The Great Gospel”) I wrote more than 1/2 yr ago.  Definitely geared towards challenging Christians who think dating without an urgency to marry is O.K., or even non-Christians who have strong views against early Christian marriages (like my family and Cadence’s family).  Frankly, I’m very tired of the cultural arguments against early marriages and I would rather marry early than to burn with passion, since I’m pretty sure I’m not receiving the gift of celibacy.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


5 thoughts on “Better to marry than to burn with passion – 1 Cor 7:9

  1. Fair enough. There should be definite movement towards getting married but to be kept in mind too is the “unequal yoke.” Rushing into it for its own sake is also a danger to be avoided. The woman of Proverbs 31 is said to do her husband no harm. As such, she was the “right” person. But with around 70% of all divorce proceedings being initiated by women a sense of urgency shouldn’t overwhelm prayer, prudence and plain common sense not only for men of course, but for women as well. Note I am not speaking of people who delay interminably while seeking an unrealistic “perfection.”

    Posted by Too Tall Jones | February 21, 2009, 11:06 pm
  2. Hi Too Tall Jones!

    It goes without saying that much prayer is needed prior to marriage, for it is a very important and responsibility-ridden (but most importantly, love-underscored) ministry. My essay was written in the wake of what you noted, the type of Christian who delays interminably while seeking an unrealistic “perfection”, and it would have taken a different tact if my target audience (my brother namely, and then perhaps most of the Christians I know who are struggling with courtship/marriage versus dating) were those who ‘rushed’ to marry (which is, in fact, a minority group in contemporary Christianity).

    Posted by Jacky | March 2, 2009, 5:16 pm
  3. This particular verse has been a great challenge for me to understand. I tend to undermine the notion that ‘if one cannot contain a sexual desire he should marry as soon as possible’ basically because marriage entails so much more than just a fulfillment of that desire.

    I have even read a psychology based article regarding sexuality (touching on topics like fantasies, desires, masturbation, pornography) and the underlying statement or point is that one who is sexually vulnerable is someone who most likely has a misdirected desire and will struggle to fulfill the desire within a sexual relationship most. The article almost tends to prove that fantasies are the result of bad parenting, insecurity as an infant or child and that fantasies cannot possibly be met in sex with a partner as perceived.

    Is this true?

    Does this verse advocate a prescription as simple as ‘GET MARRIED BEFORE YOU BURN IN YOUR LUST’, or is there much more to this verse that can tend to bear such significance to the unmarried young man in an age of permeated immorality and misdirection of desire.

    Posted by Kurt | October 28, 2010, 6:08 pm
  4. Hi Kurt,

    Thanks for your reply. Indeed, it is an interesting verse but I would say that marriage is NOT an answer simply because you should get married before you burn in your lust. Neither does that mean that people who generally do not struggle with pornography, masturbation, lust (for other women), etc means that they are automatically gifted with celibacy. Many people, who are celibate, may still struggle with lust but are not ‘called’ to be married.

    For a more detailed discussion of these lines of thoughts, please take a look here:


    Hope the resource is fruitful for your purpose :)

    Posted by Jacky | November 7, 2010, 3:47 am
  5. this is all true.Yet Paul one who chose to keep his life totaly for the mission for the gospel..too many then sex out of marriage was going on.This Chapeter cathes why it is better to marry.Yes men & women even in marrage lust 4 many things but simply saying concerning living together out sige of true marriage is what paul said.get it right lust can bring you down to eternal fire.It deals w/ me & I am 34 years old in Jesus.We all have a satanic fight to remane pure,spotless, no wrincle b/Jesus is soon coming in the clouds to grab to himself a people bought by His own blood.
    Shaoam-Maranatha all

    Posted by heart4jesus | June 1, 2011, 11:04 pm

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